


You Don't Need A Sign (But One Sure Would Be Nice)

by SoleilVioleta



Series: In Which The World Needs Continual Saving [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Kinda fluff?, M/M, Post Purgatory AU, prayers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-06
Updated: 2012-08-06
Packaged: 2017-11-11 13:30:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/479052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoleilVioleta/pseuds/SoleilVioleta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>alternatively titled: How Castiel Knows Where Sam and Dean Are Located When He Needs Them</p><p>A companion piece to  'CONVICTION'.</p><p>Post-Purgatory in which Castiel has left the Winchesters and Dean doesn't stop trying to reach him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Don't Need A Sign (But One Sure Would Be Nice)

You're not new to unfavorable turns of events.

So, when you narrowly escape Purgatory, and Castiel disappears, you're not surprised. Nor are you surprised when he doesn't answer any of your prayers or give any indication of being alive. But you are disappointed.  
Disappointment doesn't stop you, though, from hoping that he'll answer if you keep at it. Disappointment has never stopped you. Disappointment in your dad, in your brother, in angels, not even disappointment in yourself. You're an unstoppable force, as far a hope is concerned.

And even if you did know how to stop hoping, Cas was one of the few people you knew you would never stop having faith in. Spending your time continually fighting and running for your life alongside someone will do that to you. If there was one thing good that had come out of Purgatory, it was that you now knew without any doubt that Cas was trustworthy and would always have your back. Always. You hadn't been sure when you'd first entered, but leaving, there was no question.

So even though he never answers, you never stop praying.

When you're feeling pessimistic you call yourself a sap and a sissy and you tell yourself that praying to Cas is a sign of weakness and that you're stupid for believing he might still be out there listening because that guy put his life out for you SO many times that to go off the grid now seems more than a little unlikely.

When you're feeling optimistic you tell yourself that you're being a good friend and that he's busy trying to take care of angel-business because he's always elbow deep in that shit and that's why he isn't answering because he is a good guy and he will do what he has to even if it means not talking to or seeing you for a while. It's during these times that you like to think when your prayers reach him that he smiles because he likes to hear from you and that he's not annoyed.

You sit down and concentrate and really pray to Cas every time you leave somewhere or go somewhere new. You know he can't find you if you don't tell him where you are, and you want to make sure he knows where you're going and when. Just in case. Sometimes it's hard to get away from Sammy for this because you try to take at least a few mintues to really put an effort in, and sometimes he almost catches you doing it and you have to make an awkward excuse on the fly. You choose to assume that these prayers are loud and clear when Castiel recieves them; that he can't ignore them and that they sometimes interrupt what he's doing but that he doesn't mind because you're doing him a favor helping him to not have to worry about you. You choose to assume he would worry about you. But you think past evidence proves you right.

After these prayers you get a surge of hope and you imagine him appearing and you punch him because you hate it when people you love disappear on you. It's the shittiest thing to do and he needs to learn not to do it. But then you imaginary-hug him and say thank you for helping me in Purgatory and he laughs because he doesn't understand why you are thanking him, it wasn't even a question for him he just did it because that's what he does; and he accompanies you and Sam and you get jobs done record time and you all have a lot of fun teaching Cas about what being a human is about.

But when he doesn't appear you get surly. Much like with everything else, you push it away and you bury it good, but much like the spirits you hunt, it somehow manifests itself and Sam can always tell because that's what Sam has been trained to do. You get a little rash and you get a little violent towards your enemies but you let it go and smooth things over and it stays quiet until you move on again.

Other times that you pray to Cas are less obtrusive. You'll be driving the Impala listening to a song and you'll start saying something to Cas about the tune or what the lyrics mean but you'll remember that he's not there. Or sometimes when Sam saves your ass if you've accidentally done soemthing stupid, for a second you think it's Cas, but then it's Sam and you're happy that you're not alone but also a little bereft that it's not Cas. So instead you think a little prayer in your head and think what you would have said or what had happened and how it was a little humorous maybe. You don't know if these ones get to him. You choose to assume that Castiel gets these prayers too, but that they are quiet and soft when he recieves them, that they are comforting and remind him that life isn't always a constant battle and that he doesn't always have to be fighting. You choose to assume that even if he doesn't quite catch them that he feels them and that he would smile and laugh at your jokes. You think past evidence proves you wrong because Cas has a terrible sense of humor, but you'd explain them to him and his quizzical looks would earn a laugh from you and Sam and one day he'll not only get the jokes but tell you new ones, and you can't wait for that.

So you pray to Castiel to tell you a joke.

He doesn't answer. You have no idea if your calls are going through.

But you're not new to this specific brand of disappointment, or any disappointment at all, and in lieu of being angry again (your anger doesn't get you an answer), you send him a joke and go about your business.

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to build this romance slowly but I have no idea how many chapters 'CONVICTION' will actually have, which will affect these romance offshoots.
> 
> oh wow that's really embarassing I accidentally completely changed perspectives in the middle but i fixed it >//


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